Digital Privacy & Tech Safety: Defending Against Stalkerware, Location Tracking, and Coercive Control

Modern abusers frequently weaponize technology to track, monitor, harass, and isolate survivors. Taking control of your digital footprint is a core part of safety planning.

1. Recognizing Digital Surveillance & Stalkerware

Stalkerware refers to monitoring software secretly installed on phones, tablets, or computers that records keystrokes, intercepts text messages and calls, accesses cameras, and tracks real-time GPS locations.

Common Warning Signs:

• The person knows details about conversations, locations, or purchases you made privately.
• Your smartphone battery drains unusually fast, runs hot when not in use, or experiences unexpected spikes in cellular data consumption.
• Screen activities turn on or settings change without your input.

Crucial Safety Rule: If you discover stalkerware or tracking software on your phone, do not immediately delete it if you are still living with the abuser. Abruptly removing surveillance tools alerts the person that they have lost access, which can trigger severe escalation or violence. Use a separate, safe device to make exit plans.

2. Smartphone Security Audit

Run through this checklist on your devices (or conduct your critical communications from an uncompromised “burner” device purchased with cash):

1. Check Location Sharing:
   • Apple (iOS): Go to Settings > Privacy & Security > Location Services > Share My Location. Verify who has access via Find My. Also run Safety Check (iOS 16+) to immediately revoke sharing permissions from all people and apps with one tap.
   • Android: Open Google Maps > Profile Picture > Location Sharing. Confirm no unauthorized emails or accounts are receiving real-time coordinates.
2. Review Connected Devices:
   • Open your Google Account or Apple ID settings and inspect the list of “Active Devices.” Log out and remove any unfamiliar phones, tablets, or laptops immediately.
3. Audit App Permissions:
   • Review all installed apps. Uninstall any parental control apps, obscure file managers, or tools you did not install yourself.
4. Inspect Bluetooth Tracking Tags:
   • Abusers often drop Apple AirTags, Tile trackers, or Samsung SmartTags into car glove compartments, seat linings, or bag bottoms.
   • Use Apple’s native AirTag alerts or download Tracker Detect (for Android) to sweep your surroundings for Bluetooth trackers traveling with you.

3. Account and Password Hygiene

• Reset from an Untrusted Device? No. Never reset sensitive passwords (banking, healthcare, email) from a phone or laptop that the abusive partner has had physical or digital access to. Use a library computer, a workplace computer, or a friend’s device.
• Create a Secret Email Account: Set up a free email account using a fictitious username not associated with your name, birthdate, or usual handles. Use this new email exclusively for communication with shelters, attorneys, and law enforcement.
• Update Security Questions: Avoid answers that an intimate partner knows (e.g., mother’s maiden name, childhood street, first pet). Use randomized passwords or nonsensical phrases (e.g., Question: First car? Answer: PurplePancake99!).
• Two-Factor Authentication (2FA): Switch 2FA codes away from SMS text messaging (which can appear on lock screens or linked tablets) to an authenticator app (like Google Authenticator) secured behind biometrics.

4. Vehicle and Smart Home Defense

• Connected Car Accounts: Modern cars with services like OnStar, FordPass, Tesla app, or Hyundai Bluelink allow remote location tracking and horn/door controls. Call the automaker’s support line or a dealership to have unauthorized secondary drivers unlinked from the vehicle’s VIN.
• Smart Home Devices: Smart thermostats (Nest, Ecobee), smart locks, and connected security cameras (Ring, Blink) can be controlled remotely to monitor arrivals, record audio, or adjust temperatures coercively. Reset the main Wi-Fi router password and disconnect IoT hubs if you remain in the home alone.

Tech Safety Support Tools

• Safety Net Project (NNEDV): Visit techsafety.org for comprehensive, step-by-step toolkits on securing smart home tech, connected cars, social media, and mobile phones.
• StopNCII.org: A free tool to prevent non-consensual intimate images (intimate partner revenge pornography) from being uploaded and shared on major platforms (Facebook, Instagram, TikTok).
• Crash Override Network: Resources and assistance for survivors experiencing severe online harassment, doxxing, and digital stalking.